How to Write Scenery and Setting
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Hi, my name is Jessica Lemmon and I am a traditionally and independently published romance author of over 45 books. I have written for Grand Central, Random House, Little Brown, Harlequin, and under my own personal publishing house: Lemmon Ink®.
I’m so glad you’re here! Now let’s talk setting…
Characters are of utmost importance, but scenery can be just as important. A building, a car, or even an entire city can be a major player in your story.
I admit it: Setting has always been particularly challenging for me.
It’s why I lean so hard on Pinterest (follow me here) when it comes to writing living room decor, a mansion perched on a grassy hill, or even a luxury shower with multiple sprayers. [eyebrow waggle]
In fact, if you don’t read any further than this, you could take this one tip and change your writing for the better: Find a photo. Describe what you see.
But if you’re interested in a few in-depth examples of how I write setting and scenery, I’m sharing them below. Let’s start by looking at snippets from one of my Harlequin books: Second Chance Love Song.
Rough first draft:
She followed him past what very well could be her dream kitchen if she’d ever been brave enough to dream of such an elaborate space. The gray granite countertops and rich brown wooden cabinets led down to stone flooring. The flooring extended into a living room where a huge fireplace tracked up one wall to the ceiling, and fat leather couches stood waiting for several guests to settle into their plush cushions. Overhead, exposed beams swept across the high ceiling leading to a staircase that curved to a second floor.
The house was gorgeous and lush, manly yet stylish. A lot like its owner.
After the final edit:
They walked through what very well could have been her dream kitchen if she’d ever bothered to dream up such an elaborate space. The gray granite countertops and rich brown wooden cabinets were high-end and gleaming. Textured stone flooring extended into a living room where a huge fireplace tracked up one wall to a high ceiling, and fat leather couches stood waiting for several guests to settle into their plush cushions. A staircase curved to a second floor, bisecting a hallway leading in both directions.
The house was gorgeous and lush, manly yet stylish. A lot like its owner.
All in all, not that different from the original version, right? But the final pass flows in a way the first one doesn’t. It has movement. Rather than “She followed him past…” we have “They walked through…” which already implies their togetherness, even though they aren’t together yet. (A little foreshadowing for the romance that will be rekindled!)
Never underestimate a few well-placed adjectives. While “The flooring extended to a living room” is fine as it is, I prefer the final version of “Textured stone flooring extended to a living room…”
Let’s look at another one.
First Draft:
She stepped from her Jeep onto the cobblestone drive, trickling water drawing her attention. A fountain. Connected to an in-ground pond. She peeked into the lit space. Koi fish. Of course.
After final edit:
The sound of trickling water drew her attention as she stepped from her Jeep onto the cobblestone drive. A fountain, lined with thick greenery and vibrant flowers, was splashing into an in-ground pond. She peeked into the lit water and spotted several orange-and-white and black-speckled koi fish.
Again, not a huge difference, but the final edit works much better. Rather than the heroine simply walking from the Jeep to the trickling water, I start with the sound that draws her in. “A fountain” is easy to picture, but add in “A fountain, lined with thick greenery and vibrant flowers” and now the reader can both smell and hear it.
Changes like these happen during later edit passes for me, as I’m massaging the words into place and getting a feel for the vibe of the scene.
Since it never hurts to have a to-do list while you’re learning, I’ve written one for you below:
5 Simple Tips when Writing Setting
1 - Find a photo. Write what you see.
Like I said at the beginning of this blog, I often lean on Pinterest for scenery ideas. As a girl living in a lake town in farm country, it’s the easiest way to “visit” a massive mansion with elaborate gardens and a state-of-the-art kitchen.
2 -Don’t overwhelm your reader with details.
This part can be tricky! Especially if you enjoy painting a picture for your readers. Now, of course, if you’re writing about a house as a character, knock yourself out. But when writing romance, often readers are quickly bored by wandering too far away from the couple. Keep your focus on the emotion of the scene rather than the description.
If you’re writing about a bedroom, for example, highlight a few things about it, and move on. If you start describing drawer pulls and shoe organizers, you might lose your reader. (Unless those items have an important role to play in your scene.)
3 -Let your words reflect the mood of the scene.
Especially when writing a romance novel! If she’s a fish-out-of-water character, let your description show her discomfort. If she’s from a small town and has an involved, boisterous family, you could write about how oppressive it feels to visit her billionaire boss’s house. You could mention the way the walls of the mansion echo the loneliness she feels in her heart.
4 -Let your scenery match your character… or not.
Does your wealthy billionaire live in a clean-lines apartment with nary a speck of dust on any surface? Or is he fairly tidy, but never picks his clothes off the floor? I’ve written both kinds of heroes, and I really enjoy playing with those sorts of details.
You can also extend that into your description of the man himself. When I wrote my debut novel, Shane lived in a house that didn’t reflect his personality, but his cabin in Tennessee did. My editor encouraged me to point that out through my heroine, Crickitt’s point of view. At one point my heroine notices that Shane is a different man in the vacation cabin than he was when he was at home.
5 -If you’re struggling, write simply and move on.
You saw my first draft description of the fountain. There is a fountain. There are koi fish. That’s about as far as I go into it. Sometimes it’s best to write a basic description and trust future “you” to pepper in those details during the edit pass.
When drafting, keep the important thing the important thing: just write.
Now you try…
Choose one of the images below and practice writing the setting. Describe not only what you see, but what you hear, taste and smell.
Now add a character to the scene and let him or her interact with what you see. Does she touch the soft cotton sheets? Feel a chill from the cool, frosty air, or does the fragrant blossom remind her of her mother?
